Journals - Living Dead Girl (2)

Thinking about submitting a short story to an e-mag. My level of nervousness is supremely high.

In other news, English Journal #2 for Living Dead Girl. Only a day late.

I usually re-read books I like, but I'm not sure if I could re-read this. I'm not even sure if I like it. Maybe I loved it, but hated what it did to me. Kind of like a person.

Maybe I don't need to re=read it because I'm still thinking about it. It's been a few weeks now, but when something reminds me, all the feelings come back. It kind of bites, because I can't eat yoghurt without my stomach knotting up. Then again, it would be awful to forget.

Maybe I don't want to re-read it. The second go-through is usually where I start picking apart the language, the characters, the pacing. The story then becomes a book, and experience that can be analyzed because someone chose to share it. I'm not sure I want Living Dead Girl to be a book. It feels almost like I'd be holding in contempt all the real girls and real lives the book represents. I've done it before, but I don't want to do it with this one.

Maybe I'm just selfish. Maybe I just don't want to live through that gosh-darned ending all over again. There's only so many times you can walk away disatified Because you're walking away.

It's been a while...

I've not abandoned the blog, I promise. Tomorrow is a Sunday, which means if I have time between Easter festivities I will be posting a journal. ("I know! I'll have a feature! That'll make sure I post regularly." Oh, over-optomistic self. Ha. And again, I say, Ha.) For tonight, I'll do some other stuff I promised I'd do.

Beta'ing. So, My first ever Beta partner and I finished reading each other's work a few months ago, I finished editing my way through her comments, and I haven't touched Accidents since (except to do some self-conscious editing. I can't help myself.) On the experience of having work critiqued, it was very constructive and encouraging, and I think I had a good partner. I wish I had a partner I knew a better, since it's a little easier to do cross-examination with a friend. There were a few things, mostly small, on which I very strongly disagreed, and I had to just take it as a difference in taste/lack of understanding.

On the experience of critiqueing - I've done it before, on a smaller scale, but I find it very rewarding to get deep into the nitty-gritty bits of a story and try to make it shine its absolute brightest. It was a good story (outside my prefered genre by a fair margin, but what can you do?) and I don't for a second regret the time spent with the characters. I always knew I liked editing, but this kind of makes me think I might have the stamina for it, I mean professionally. I'd love so much to work with an editor...

The maiden Beta voyage deemed successful, I am now one step closer to being query-ready. I thought I'd have queried by now, this time last year, but there's still a little more I want to tweak. My goal is to get it going by this summer. Fingers crossed!